Month 3
So much has happened since last time - so here goes...
We have now finished all our preparation groups. There were seven in total and we have to say we thoroughly enjoyed each one. The sessions were titled –
- Group One – Changing Relationships.
- Group Two – Child Development/Managing Behavior
- Group Three – Loss and Communicating with Children
- Group Four – Caring for Abused Children and Managing Behavior
- Group Five – Adoption and Diversity
- Group Six – Contact
- Group Seven – Panel and Beyond – Post Approval and Adoption Support
We mentioned last month how drained we both felt after our first session, well in fact we felt this after every session!!
Poor Jeremy was so poorly on session number two but managed to attend the group. Everyone said how ill he looked during the day and by mid-afternoon he had turned a funny green colour. Men being men, he would not visit the doctors, but by the Monday morning I had made an emergency appointment and he was diagnosed of having a bronchial infection and was given antibiotics and steroids!!!
We both found each session enjoyable and they were made so much more fun by us all being invited to join in – this way it was a lot easier to absorb the information. Although there were no actual role plays (thank goodness, as no-one likes these, do they?) we each got to say our own bit and all got involved.
One of the best exercises was when one member of the group was asked to be the child and he was given lots of pieces of string. Each of us were then people in his life – birth parents, adoptive parents, siblings, social worker etc. That exercise will always be remembered by us as a lesson in how many people are involved in that one child’s life.
The people in the group were all different in their own way, some louder and more talkative than others – us included! We ‘clicked’ immediately with another couple on the group, Michelle and Tom, and we have become such good friends during and after the groups. They only live an hour away and we know they will be our friends forever and we will be there for each other along this journey. After one of the sessions we all went out for a curry and had a very enjoyable evening.
One particular thing we liked at each session was that a different couple who had adopted with Families are Best came along and gave us their honest story of their experience. Each couple were so different and had their own special stories. Fingers crossed, if all goes to plan, this will be us one day telling our own story!!
Group three and four were probably the hardest, but not once were we put off in any way. In fact after each group we became more excited and enthusiastic about the whole experience. Many of our friends and family asked the question: ‘Why on earth do you have to attend these groups – what do you talk about?’ Perhaps we thought this at the beginning too, but once they had ended we felt quite sad as this part of our journey was over.
However, we also realised that we had learnt so much about our own relationship and we had to learn what was being taught as we have no idea what background or what baggage the child or children we adopt will bring with them. We are doing all of this for the children and we have to/want to make sure we are doing the right thing.
Our last two sessions were on a Friday and a Saturday of the same week. Michelle and Tom stayed over both nights as it was silly them having to travel back and fro and we all had a great weekend. On the Friday night we chatted till late at night about our plans and dreams of adoption and on the Saturday night after the last session we went out for a meal with our friends Julie and Darren. As you know, they adopted their little girl, who is now 4, when she was 8 months old and Michelle and Tom get on with them really well.
On the last day we were given details of how the Adoption Panel works and this really struck a cord with us – how scary and nerve wracking is that going to be!!!!!!! Ours is planned for the 14 th September and Michelle and Tom have theirs in July. We were all given certificates (and had chocolate cake!!!) and swapped email addresses/phone numbers with our fellow members of our groups.
We have had a number of home sessions with Chris and as usual she makes us feel at ease and we look forward to her coming round. Each time she ‘interviews’ us, she collates the information which when finished will become our “Form F ” which will be used for our panel application.
I have had my one-to-one session and this lasted just over three hours. It was like having my own personal counselor and even though there were some sad parts of my life to talk about, I did enjoy it. Thank goodness for red wine – AGAIN!!!! Jeremy has his tomorrow!!!
We have also started our home study pack which is our home work. Again, this is good to do together and has made us think about our relationship and what we have to offer to a child/children. I do keep saying child/children as we are still deciding on the number of children we want to adopt.
Jeremy is being practical - I have just started my own business from home and even though we live in a three bedroom house, it is not huge and one child he thinks will fill it perfectly. Me being me think that two will be lovely and am not thinking practical at all!!! But until we finally get the answer we are praying for at the Panel – we are keeping all our options open!
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