Month 5
Some very happy news to start with!!! Michelle and Tom have been approved!!! How excited and pleased are we for them!!!
They picked the hottest day of the year to have their panel and came away looking drained but so happy. I drove them to Nottingham (mainly because of the promise of a MacDonald’s breakfast as a treat!) as I wanted to be there for them and also to take away the stress of driving.
When we arrived another couple who were in our adoption group had just come out of the panel and they had just been approved, so that was a great start. I left Michelle and Tom in the capable hands of their social worker, Andy, and tried to occupy myself by reading the newspaper but I couldn’t concentrate at all. Luckily Lynda was working in the adjacent building so I had a cup of tea and a chat with her.
I was pacing up and down until Lynda told me to calm down – I was so nervous for them: what on earth am I going to be like in September!!!
Anyway, the end result was good – lots of happy tears and lots of emotional telephone calls to their family and friends. They deserve it, though – they are a great couple and we have become so close.
Also some more good news. We had our assessment review at home with Graham and Chris and we were given a positive recommendation from Graham for the panel. We are hoping to be approved for two children aged between 0 and 6.
We feel we could cope with two children who are quite young and with a short age gap between them. As we have said before our house is not huge but we do have two spare bedrooms – perfect for two little ones!!! J
Jeremy was so nervous before Graham arrived and didn’t stop talking. I struggled on some of the questions to start with but soon came round. Graham did have several issues but nothing Chris had not picked up on before – she is very good!! We are now able to start looking for children in the ‘Be My Parent’ and ‘Children Who Wait’ magazines – so that’s made it all so real now too.
The CCS picnic was a great day out – a beautiful day at a great venue. Michelle and Tom won a day for four people at Center Parcs and we won a bottle of red wine – cool prizes! It was lovely to see all the happy children playing and again made us realise we are definitely doing the right thing – just thinking of how these children must have suffered and may still be suffering if they hadn’t been placed with new families is heart breaking.
Next week Chris is interviewing our references. We are not worried about this but will never know what they say as we don’t get to see their comments!
Jeremy and I are off to see Debbie and Daniel in two weeks time. Obviously I am apprehensive about meeting Debbie but Jeremy assures me that it will be fine. I am looking forward to meeting Daniel and we are taking him out for the day. Jeremy is excited about this and his growing relationship with Daniel. It has taken a while but all good things come to those who wait.
We have finished our sessions with Chris and she is in the process of completing our Form F. This is the form/documentation that will be sent to the panel members and also used when we are looking for children. We found the last session very hard. We had to determine what type of children we could or not consider. It’s very hard to say no when we want this to happen so much but we have to be realistic too.
Chris has recommended we read some books exploring sexual abuse as this is something we believe we could help the children with. We also had to answer a health and safety questionnaire and Jeremy has since been to B&Q and bought safety catches for the kitchen and bathroom doors.
I have also been in touch with our link family – Anna and Paul. They live in a village nearby and are a family of Chris’s who adopted three children. Even though we have not met yet, myself and Anna have instantly ‘clicked’ and I feel like I have gained another friend during this process. Each time we speak – an hour passes on the phone and we can’t wait to meet them all in person. Chris thinks we will be able to help each other with problems we encounter and it’s nice to know they are not far away too.
One thing I have noticed after Michelle and Tom were approved was the lack of Adoption greeting cards for sale. I hunted the shops and internet for ‘Congratulations on Being Approved’ cards and found nothing. Adoption UK does sell cards for once the child is officially approved, but that’s it.
I have been in touch with a supplier that I use for my business and he is working on some card designs for me. We are planning on setting up a website together to sell these cards and hopefully some stores will also be interested too.
Think that’s it for now – still reading ‘The Lost Boy’ by Dave Pelzer and enjoying this immensely.
Not sure what next month will bring – the month after will be worth waiting for!!! (Hopefully!)
Clare and Jeremy
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