Preparation Groups

Preparation is the Key - Adoption Today article

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Families Are Best Preparation Groups

Preparation Groups are designed to provide the opportunity for applicants to meet other prospective adopters and share common experiences and to benefit from the individual perspectives which participants bring to the areas studied in the modules.

The Group Programme consists of seven full-day modules. Methods used to facilitate discussion include videos, audio tapes, 'quick thinks', sculpts and case studies. In all modules applicants have the opportunity to meet adopters who are able to illustrate from their own experience some of the issues raised.

'Take Home Packs' include reading material and exercises to deepen the participants understanding of the subjects discussed in the modules.

The groups are run concurrently with the social worker assessment which enables participants to discuss the content of each group with their assessing social worker and consider the implications of the material for them as a family.

MODULE 1 - 'CHANGING RELATIONSHIPS'

This meeting aims to raise awareness of the impact of adopting children on family relationships and to invite you to consider this in relation to yourself.

It includes:

• Introductions to each other and to the group process.
• Exploration of the changes which becoming adoptive parents will bring to your own lives and the impact of adoption on your extended family.
• Video material and exercises to help start the group thinking about this life changing experience
• Presentation from a foster care about real children currently needing adoptive homes.

‘We felt we covered a lot of ground, all of which was valuable and left Group 1 with an accurate expectation of what to expect and excitement at what could be ahead for us. We thought the day was well presented in a very balanced way; it was all helpful. We left feeling we had begun to get an idea of what it may be like to parent a child from a difficult start. We received very positive messages from adoptive parents’

MODULE 2 - 'CHILD DEVELOPMENT / MANAGING BEHAVIOUR'

In this module, children’s physical and emotional development is discussed along with the ways this can be affected by changes of carers, moves, trauma, loss and pre birth experience.

We use case studies of delayed development and regression to help you to look at the reasons behind difficult behaviour and introduce methods of how to help the child to fill in the gaps in their development.

You are also invited to consider the difference between ‘discipline’ and ‘punishment’, to discuss approaches to managing children’s behaviours and the Agency’s policy on raising children without the use of physical chastisement.

‘The attachment and child development module was another very positive day which moved us forward in our understanding. The abuse module was a very good day; a tough subject but which was absolutely essential to know about. We thought that the abuse module, which focused on delicate and difficult information, was handled very sensitively and as a result we both gained a great deal from the session. The information in the groups was really helpful and, by the end, felt very real; we are now able to relate all we have learned to the descriptions we have read in “Be My Parent” or “Adoption UK”

MODULE 3 – LOSS AND COMMUNICATING WITH CHILDREN

Using a range of methods and materials, you are asked to consider the key experience of loss and the part it plays in the adoption process for the birth family, the child and yourself. The session examines:-

• The process of grieving and the barriers to effective expression of sadness and grief.
• It also looks at ways parents can support their children in dealing with sad and painful feelings about the past.

‘Adoption is an emotional journey. Meeting other adopters in each group session helped us to remember it will be all worthwhile. We have found ourselves looking forward to each group session. Revisiting my own losses will be helpful to me in the future when we need to cope with our children’s grief.’

MODULE 4 - CARING FOR ABUSED CHILDREN

The aim of this module is to open the subject of child abuse to assist you in thinking through the implications of parenting children with these experiences. The nature, contributory factors and some of the consequences of child abuse are discussed. Particular attention is paid to the behavioural challenges posed by children who have experienced abuse and trauma.

The particular issues around sexual abuse are discussed, including the very confused feelings of the child, 'acting out' behaviour and the need for adoptive parents to be sensitive to the safety needs of their children and themselves. You are invited to consider case studies, to speak to adoptive parents and to view video material on this topic.

We are aware of the possibility that you yourself may have experience or memories that may make the contents of this session distressing in a personal way. This is not unusual and, if this applies to you, we cannot over emphasise the importance of discussing your situation with your Social Worker. This is to ensure that we understand the significance of your experience both for you and for the wellbeing of any child placed.

MODULE 5 - ADOPTION AND DIVERSITY

Families Are Best seeks to support adoptive parents in reinforcing open and healthy attitudes to the multi cultural and diverse society in which we all live and you will be invited to consider issues of race, disability and gender at points throughout the group.

Many children bring learned prejudices and negative attitudes about minority groups into their new families. These are unhelpful to them and damaging for others. Many adopted children and their families also come from minority groups that encounter mistrust or hostility: factors often connected to their need for adoptive homes. We believe that adoptive families are themselves a ‘minority group’, subject to stereotype or stigma and an understanding of these processes is essential.

MODULE 6 - CONTACT

This module helps applicants to understand and consider the type of contact that they could manage for a child placed with them. It includes the following: -

• Why contact is maintained in adoption.
• The reasons that contact is important for the child.
• The purpose of contact for the birth family, child and adoptive parents.
• Different forms that contact can take, including letterbox and direct contact, which can be supervised or arranged by the family.
• Special issues for siblings placed together or apart.

MODULE 7 -POST APPROVAL AND ADOPTION SUPPORT

This module covers a range of subjects and includes:

• Some key legal issues, including the impact of the Adoption and Children Act
• An applicant attending the adoption panel, a video is shown and exercises that will help applicants understand the process.
• The matching process, how children are linked and placed with adoptive families, what you need to find out about the child and what the child’s social workers are likely to ask of you.
• Adoption support following the placement of your child is discussed and you will be given an outline of all the adoption support services that Families Are Best offers. A list of other relevant support agencies will be discussed.
• The group ends with some exercises that evaluate the preparation journey that the applicants have embarked on and ends this stage in the process positively.

‘We found each session interesting and looked forward to learning more. We feel each session has made us become deeper people. We have come to realize through attending groups how much support will be available to us beyond adoption into the future. We have come to understand that there will be difficult times ahead but that the end result will make it all worthwhile.’

Additional comments from prospective adoptive parents of the Families Are Best preparation groups.

‘After a contact with the Local Authority and having attended an information evening, I felt no personal connection and decided to look at other options. Having come across CCS on the internet I called and had a lovely conversation with a representative for over half an hour. The personal and caring service they provide is outstanding and makes our adoption process a pleasurable event’

‘My husband and I really enjoyed the course and found all the subjects covered very beneficial. Having seven days allowed us to form friendships with our fellow adopters and the social workers running the course, also it enabled us to meet a wide variety of adoptive parents and their children. Meeting six different families really helped us form a picture of what adoption might be like for us and our family.’

‘ I found them more useful than I had anticipated. Linda in particular was very knowledgeable and experienced and her live examples from her personal experiences were very powerful. The other group members normalised the experience for me and made it easier for me to be a prospective adopter as opposed to a social worker. I picked up lots of ideas about helping a child with loss experiences, which were accessible to all group members. The case studies helped to build confidence by enabling the group members to see they did have ideas on how to meet specific needs in children.’

‘As the groups progress, I found it easier to communicate my hesitations and concerns. What I have discovered is that most other group members appear to feel the same and I no longer feel alone whilst I work through the adoption process. I have learned that children’s experiences will be with them forever; we have needed the training to enable us to assist children we adopt in the future. Listening to children’s stories makes me feel more determined to adopt – even to give one child a new start in life. We made sure we asked lots of questions in our assessment and preparation process throughout to ensure we filly understood everything. When we asked questions our social worker always responded with honest and helpful answers.’

‘We now feel very confident regarding our future support and would recommend this agency to others interested in adoption. All of the material presented to us was helpful. We found reading the assessment and preparation file very helpful, useful an informative. All of the group sessions, presentations and exercises very relevant. We heard lots of positive aspects about adoption. Although it was hard to work through the material at times, it was all essential for equipping us for the future. Meeting with adoptive parent was very helpful; they were positive and honest and gave a good insight into the process and helped us know what to expect.’

‘The Group sessions were FANTASTIC! We really miss them and would recommend them to anyone. We learnt so much and made some great new friends along the way.’